Archive | Daily Shorty Year post RSS feed for this section

Songs Day 3: Ponderous Anthem

6 Sep

Today’s song happens to be one I don’t care for, “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. I find it ironic that the singer belts out these lyrics about how important it is to be a simple man to soaring, anthem-like music, and that over-serious, too sincere framing drives me a little nuts. I was hoping that sense of irony might make it to my story, but no. A sad mother-daughter tale with a not-so-simple man at the heart of it. Meh. Next.


Working Title: Fooling Around
1st Sentence: I never knew my father.
Favorite Sentence: The sun was down completely now but there was a high, bright moon that shone on the water burbling like it came up from a split in the earth.
Word Length: 595


Photo by Andrew King, March 2010.

Songs Day 2: Ogunquit Redux

5 Sep

At Ogunquit again, this time with the husband and a Jacuzzi, for a long weekend in the last blush of summer. As I write, I’m sipping a “mocha choca,” an espresso-blasted hot cocoa prepared lovingly for me by a very nice young woman with an accent I can’t place at the Cafe Amore, one of my favorite places in the village. I’ll remember this when I’m trudging to the gym in thigh-high snow this winter. For now, I drink my buzzy cocoa and post Day 2 of my song stories: Today’s shorty was inspired by one of my all-time favorite singer-songwriters, Tracy Chapman, singing the sad, sweet “Give Me One Reason.” This shorty could not be more different from that song in tone, yet I wrote it while grooving to Tracy on a loop, so go figure.


Working Title: Growing Old Together
1st Sentence: There was a time when their enthusiasm for the same fringe metal bands, when simultaneous swooning at the sight of a banana split, when their mutual hatred for sitcoms crammed with beautiful, over-tanned people living in gigantic New York City apartments… well, when all of that, put together, all of that said LOVE.
Favorite Sentence: So much so that when they discuss the minutia of whatever the fuck they think they believe—you know, when they start talking shit about life cycles and other dimensions and mystical-wistful, wordful casserole—first they start pointing, and then they start getting red in the face.
Word Length: 505


Photo by 2candle at en.wikipedia. CC-BY-SA-2.5,2.0,1.0; Released under the GNU Free Documentation License.

Song Stories!

4 Sep

Today I start a week of shorties inspired by songs. To select my songs I created a Pandora radio station and spent about 20 minutes entering singers and bands I like and giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to songs the site selected for me. Then I saved the station and went on with other things. Last night I went back to the station and wrote down the titles and artists of the first 7 songs Pandora gave me, whether I liked them or not. I bought the songs from iTunes and loaded them onto my iPod. Today I began my series by listening to “Little Bitty Pretty One” by Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers. Because this song is impossible to hear without dancing, I got up and danced like a fool for a good 20 minutes while replaying the song. Then I sat down at my computer, turned the volume down, and continued to replay the song while I wrote.


Working Title: He Swayed
1st Sentence: They met at a sock hop.
Favorite Sentence: She carried two children and worked for Legal Aid while he dipped and swayed through a few classes in archaeology, then did a light be-bop through some good WWII history—Hitler and Stalin, that’s the real shit.
Word Length: 593


Photo by Flickr user “shortiestar3000” June 2006.

Poem Series Day 7: Bye Week 18!

3 Sep

A friend recently expressed confusion (and a little contempt?!) that I reward Daily Shorty milestones with virtual treats. Occasionally the treat is something I acquired and photographed before inhaling it but typically, no, these treats come from Wikimedia Commons or friends kind enough to remember me and snap a photo before inhaling their own delights. In my defense I can only say that I love looking at these pictures. And that if I I ate all of the treats decorating this site I’d have to exercise twice as much as I do already, and these old knees can’t take it. So enjoy with me this gorgeous fruit tart, which caps a week of shorties inspired by poems posted at Poetry Daily. Today’s shorty was birthed by the haunting “Horse People” by David Mason (Southwest Review, Volume 97, Number 3), which literally gave me chills. It also gave me my favorite shorty of the week, which I wrote in a daze immediately after reading the poem for the first time. First four lines of the poem as teaser: “Quanah Parker’s mother as a young girl / saw her family lanced and hacked to pieces, / and was herself thrown on the hurtling rump / of a warrior’s pony whipped to the far off”


Working Title: Hair Color of Moon
1st Sentence: Too many John Wayne movies on Sunday afternoons.
Favorite Sentence: He is the noble savage but also the thief of little blondes, also cannon fodder for the likes of Mr. Wayne.
Word Length: 383


Photo by Kimberly Vardeman, May 2008.

Poem Series Day 6

2 Sep

This one took forever to write. Might be a keeper with a good revision but I was glad to be done with it for now, after a long night. I took my inspiration from one specific and very simple image in the poem “Men Swear” by Matthew Thorburn (from Every Possible Blue, CW Books). Who knows why the phrase and image lingered: yellow pocket square. Here are the first four lines of the poem to tease you: “I misread on the UP escalator / at Macy’s and things go downhill / from there. Now starchy / as a white shirt, now neat as a pleat”


Working Title: Stalker Angel
1st Sentence: As stalkers go, he was a good choice.
Favorite Sentence: A few shouts, some jabbering, a tangle of suit coats and salt-and-pepper hairlines converged on the boy and Mr. Apperson.
Word Length: 2,322


Photo: Yuji_Naka_Tokyo_Game_Show_2008.jpg: switchstyle; derivative work: Tachymètre & Leovilok.

Poem Series Day 5: Maria’s back!

1 Sep

Ahh, another excuse to post a picture of my darling Maria. Bad lighting and apologies for the husband’s foot, but you can see that she is ridiculously adorable. Today’s shorty was inspired by my current favorite of the terrific poems I’ve been pulling from Poetry Daily as prompts for my writing, “6220 Camp Street” by Amanda Auchter, from The Wishing Tomb, Perugia Press. First stanza as teaser: “The morning of the strange wind, / I opened tin cans, / scooped chicken livers into pie plates. The city”


Working Title: Operation Rescue
1st Sentence: She ran it through her head while she was showering, watching TV, making a grilled cheese, pedaling to nowhere on an exercise bike: UP in one smooth motion, sneakers on, shake pillow from its case, fetch cat carrier from laundry room, stuff pillow case into carrier, grab Spinnet and put him into carrier, car keys, purse, OUT.
Favorite Sentence: We rehearse the mother-living-fuck out of the fastest decamp this side of a panty-raid and all is right with the world.
Word Length: 1,264


Photo taken this summer by Pat, who forgot to move his foot.

Poem Series Day 4: So long August!

31 Aug

I could fill this whole box with complaints about the day’s shorty, which I worked very hard on and yet it refused to be anything but a pretty, preening piece of crap. Instead I will congratulate myself for finishing my 4th month of the Daily Shorty challenge! That’s a THIRD of my year, folks! Have a red velvet cupcake on me to celebrate. The wonderful poem that inspired today’s shorty is “The Meantime” by Craig Morgan Teicher, from To Keep Love Blurry, BOA Editions. The first four lines as a teaser: “It’s easy to overjoy a window with brilliant flowers / but what if long-longed-for time suddenly bubbled / over the lip of the clock, as if each day doubled / due to a lost job or loved one slaughtered, leaving hours”


Working Title: Noon
1st Sentence: Tuesday.
Favorite Sentence: She watched the sand sift, tiny breaths of particles at a time, falling through the hour glass from possibility to past.
Word Length: 1,736


Thanks to my friend Mark and sister Amy for taking this picture.

Aside

Avoiding Complication

31 Aug

I finally picked up the craft book Rules of Thumb, edited by Michael Martone and Susan Neville, and I wanted to mention an early piece on “Complexity” by Paul Maliszewski. He talks about reading work by students who avoid complication in their stories—one student puts and keeps a husband in a coma while the wife rails at his recent sins, but, of course, rails alone—and how much playing it so safe drains the story of any energy. I’m not doing him justice, so you’ll have to get the book, but I wanted to remind myself and any writer friends following this project: Don’t skip the hard stuff! A character gets fired but you skipped the firing? Why? A woman leaves her husband but you don’t give us the scene when he catches her packing? What gives? The story is supposed to be about the hard stuff. Take a deep breath, and, yeah, go there.

Poem Series Day 3

30 Aug

What I can say so far about using poems as prompts: I’m producing stories I feel I would never have come up with on my own. That was only rarely true when I used place and photos as inspiration. I wonder why? The day’s shorty was inspired by the poem “Minor Devastations,” by Andrzej Sosnowski and translated from the Polish by Benjamin Paloff. The poem comes from Lodgings: Selected Poems 1987-2010 (Open Letter, University of Rochester). First stanza as teaser: “Everyone is on the lookout for minor devastations / in themselves and in others. And throughout the world. / And it’s nobody’s fault. Angelic gehennas, / genes, as in genesis. Lawsonia and henna.”


Working Title: Me, in Limbo
1st Sentence: For fifty bucks he paints a watercolor of who you really are.
Favorite Sentence: No one, her entire life, had ever asked her to wear uncomfortable shoes.
Word Length: 600


Photo by Flickr user Tu Foto, January 2007.

Poem Series Day 2

29 Aug

Two shorties inspired by poems, five to go. I was very happy with this story and worked hard to find the right ending, but it never came. Right now I’m thinking the last third of this one is likely to be replaced in revision. The poem that inspired this shorty is “Heroic Sentences,” by Kimberly Grey, published by the Colorado Review, Summer 2012. First four lines as a teaser: “Little crumbs and tree and bone / and all that’s left of time inside / our bodies and I am insatiable / when it comes to saving you,”


Working Title: What Say You?
1st Sentence: My friend Lorna and her soon to be ex-husband Bill held a funeral for their marriage.
Favorite Sentence: Lorna had called from Italy at 3:00 in the morning—what, three years ago, now—drunk on limoncello and bawling about how Bill hated cheese and said she should grow her hair long.
Word Length: 1,142


Photo by Jgromine1, May 2012.

A Week of Poem Prompts!

28 Aug

My weeks at Daily Shorty start on Tuesdays. I just finished a week of stories inspired by place, and that followed a week of stories inspired by photos. Now poetry. Many thanks to the folks at Poetry Daily, who post a terrific poem every day. I have made a small contribution as a proper thank you and I hope you will do the same if you are as wowed by their site as I am. Today’s poem is “Looking into Motion’s Larkin” by Lee Rossi, published in the New Orleans Review Volume 38, Number 1. First stanza teaser:  “No matter how slowly you read the life / it speeds past. His parents wed. Soon he’s born. / Then school, and Oxford, a taste for porn. / Then jobs, the many women (but no wife)”


Working Title: Not the Moon
1st Sentence: When we were kids, Jackie’s toys were newer, shinier, their colors more intense.
Favorite Sentence: My mother believed smiles cost her something and that woman thought of little else but price.
Word Length: 417


Photo by Oliver Herold, July 2007.

Aside

Goodbye to Week 17!

27 Aug

THAT is a chocolate soufflé! Congrats to me, to me, to me, for finishing off my 17th week of the Daily Shorty Challenge! And I can’t let another August 27 post go by without wishing a big, fat, happy wedding anniversary to Pat and me! Best decision I ever made, Babe. And I’m looking forward to that steak dinner Wednesday night….
Photo by Alpha from Melbourne, Australia, April 2008.

Last Day of Place Series: Boston

27 Aug

I spent the day in Boston with my friend Mark. I took lots of pictures and tried to go thoughtful once in a while, but I never did take a few minutes out of our traipsing even to take notes for a story. Instead I carried my notebook to (an early) bed, reviewed my photos, and closed my eyes and waited…. As it happens, I have no photo to document the moment in our day that inspired this story. Instead I’ve posted here the favorite of my pictures. The shorty was inspired by the rest we took in the Public Garden, admiring the pretty lake and glimpsing from afar a big rock with… was that a mermaid??


Working Title: Lady of the Lake
1st Sentence: “For real,” she said.
Favorite Sentence: She ruffled the boy’s hair while he grinned up at her, one of his fingers sneaking toward the frilled edge of her tailfin.
Word Length: 883


Photo: A fountain in Leventhal Park in Boston, August 2012.

Place Series Day 6: Starbucks

26 Aug

A mocha, a cushy couch. Memories inspired by the man-sandles I saw on the guy sitting catty-corner to me. Oh, how my father would despise those shoes, I thought. And I was off and running.


Working Title: Blood
1st Sentence: When I was about twelve years old, I once put myself into a euphoric state by imagining the act of slamming the back of my brother’s head with a cast iron skillet.
Favorite Sentence: And then I would run lightly up to the back of the sofa, right behind his huge head—barely covered with the same fine hair I had, no protection at all—and hover there, for a moment, thinking like this, this fast, this hard.
Word Length: 822


Photo: Hello, my friend. August 2012.

Place Series Day 5: Theater

25 Aug

Frontier is a wonderful example of how the old mill buildings so prevalent in Maine can be re-purposed. A combination restaurant-theater-gallery-performance center, Mainers have treasured this place since it opened in Brunswick not long after I moved to the state in summer 2006. I sat in their small theater scribbling ideas in my notebook for about 15 minutes before the showing of the film my husband and I came to see, “Queen of Versailles.” (I give the documentary a thumbs up but I have no idea why reviewers found it hilarious. It’s fascinating, disturbing, and very sad. I think I laughed three times.) I came back to my notes hours later to work my impressions into a shorty. Love the idea for it, but I’ll need good luck with revision to accomplish what I hoped.


Working Title: American Belle
1st Sentence: I have one real image of my maternal grandmother, the twenty-minute movie star.
Favorite Sentence: Whereas Nora—well, you can see from those crisp white gloves that she never touched anything dirty, and those wall-to-wall eyes were nothing if not innocent.
Word Length: 503


Photo: Frontier in Brunswick, Maine, August 2012.

Place Series Day 4: The Gym

24 Aug

Okay, I wrote today’s shorty before I got to the gym but that’s because I woke up thinking “gym” and I’m so familiar with the place—and I’ve already written several shorties there—that my mind started working on the sights and sounds right away. Within minutes I was scribbling.


Working Title: This Is ME
1st Sentence: She tended to do things in cycles, particularly self-improvement.
Favorite Sentence: When friends commented on her new physique and asked her how she maintained such a rigorous workout regimen, she would fling aside the self-deprecating jokes that sprang to mind—I pay a hunky man to stay just a few paces ahead of me when I run, so I’ll keep moving; Cosmo advised either heroin or the gym to achieve that cover-girl look, and I hate needles.
Word Length: 525


Photo taken at Davis Fitness Center at Bates College. I have written multiple shorties on that mat.

Place Series Day 3: The Store

23 Aug

I’m finding that places are not inspiring stories as well as photos but that is likely at least partly due to the fact that having to go somewhere adds a task to my day that I’m having trouble fitting in. Each of these first 3 days of the series I’ve left for my writing prompt-place no earlier than 4:00 in the afternoon. I do like today’s shorty, especially that I kept it so brief. But I don’t love it.


Working Title: Ma’am Tantrum
1st Sentence: Far too many ma’am’s in one day.
Favorite Sentence: Teenager-cum-college freshman just this weekend, right now squaring up to the wide world with only narrowed eyes and a sailor’s vocabulary as weapons.
Word Length: 344


Photo: Hannaford grocery on Sabattus street in Lewiston, Maine, where today’s shorty was inspired.

Place Series Day 2: Home Depot

22 Aug

Dear Home Depot: What story will you bring me? One about a husband who’s getting a bit too handy around the house, of course. I had to fight hard for this one—lots of starts and stops. It’s okay, probably not a lot of potential for being publishable. Onward.


Working Title: Mr. Fix-it
1st Sentence: No Mr. Fix-it in the bedroom, I said.
Favorite Sentence: Or to discover that he’d glued aluminum foil to the dining table using wallpaper paste because he read on a website that it would give the table a beautiful faux-pewter finish.
Word Length: 837


Photo taken in the Home Depot in Auburn, Maine. I sat in that displayed golf chair while working on the day’s shorty.

Aside

Goodbye to Week 16!

21 Aug

One of the ways I keep my energy going for the Daily Shorty challenge is to celebrate every milestone. I didn’t have room for this photo yesterday and I won’t when I write up today’s story post, so here’s my pat on the back for completing my 16th week on August 20! This apricot-blackberry tart, purchased at Forage Market in downtown Lewiston, Maine, is my celebration treat. I don’t often get to eat the real treat photographed for these virtual celebrations, but I ate this one and it was DELICIOUS.

Place Series Day 1: Campus

21 Aug

Starting a week of shorties inspired by place. Today I sat on a bench on the quad of Bates College. Something about the peace (the students aren’t here yet) made me write something dark and violent. DO NOT LIKE. This one will live only on my hard drive but I’ll put it in a cell so it won’t hurt any of the others who are imprisoned there.


Working Title: This Is Life
1st Sentence: Ugly things aren’t supposed to happen in pretty places.
Favorite Sentence: Occasionally the ragged muffler of a motorcycle filters through the calm but mostly the world is nothing but peaceful, here, nothing if not safe.
Word Length: 482


Photo taken while sitting on a bench at Bates College, August 2012.

Last Day of Photo Series!

20 Aug

Saying goodbye to Week 16, but I’ll have to delay my virtual treat by one day in favor of posting the picture I used for today’s shorty. This story came to me very quickly and whole, so was fun and easy to write. And I like it. Overall I consider my week of photo prompts very successful. The stories came out odd but I like that. I sometimes had trouble going deep but don’t I always.  I do think starting with the photo stripped a layer of effort or pressure from the shorty mission. To sum: I will do this again.


Working Title: When I See Her
1st Sentence: I want her to come to me in beautiful, blessed moments.
Favorite Sentence: Once when I was at a wedding party and a young woman in a scarlet dress dragged her partner to the dance floor, where they flung each other in circles, stamping their feet, the skin of her legs flashing, her skirt like whirling flame, I thought, there, in all that life, in all that breathless movement, she will emerge.
Word Length: 521


Thanks again to Cynthia, who posed for this picture on the Marginal Way in Ogunquit, Maine (July 2012), and let me share it here.

Day 6 of Photo Series

19 Aug

Another really tough one and again, doesn’t match up to my vision but there’s hope for when I can come back to it.


Working Title: Perpetually Undecided Woman
1st Sentence: I know why she picked me.
Favorite Sentence: But now she’s gone and I’ve got Daddy and Sam and Liddy, each one a double-stitched, double-dipped Delta Blue who can’t bear the thought of Mama going to heaven gnarled and black and unable to walk the gold-paved streets or eat the sugared oranges because she’s a piece of char.
Word Length: 983


Photo taken on Marginal Way in Ogunquit, Maine, July 2012.

Day 5 of Photo Series

18 Aug

I really like my vision for this but it didn’t come out so well. Hopefully I can ramp it up in revision.


Working Title: When It’s Over
1st Sentence: He can’t be lucky forever.
Favorite Sentence: I listen with my ears, sure, but with my closed eyes, too, my fingertips, my nose.
Word Length: 854


Photo taken outside the Breaking New Grounds coffee shop at the end of Perkins Cove in Ogunquit, Maine, July 2012.

Day 4 of Photo Series

17 Aug

Had to fight hard for this one but wound up with something I really enjoy.


Working Title: Lobster Dinner
1st Sentence: The word “spectacular” kept coming up.
Favorite Sentence: Jim had special-ordered fish and chips because he was horrified by the look of a lobster and refused to try it, which was just like Jim and just like our marriage.
Word Length: 1,575


Photo taken in Perkins Cove in Ogunquit, Maine, July 2012.

Third time’s the charm.

16 Aug

Three starts today to get a shorty. And this is the third in my experimental “photo series” and today I’m really pleased with what I wrote. If forced to think like a critic I’m not sure how highly I’d rate this story but I went deep today, something I haven’t been able to do lately. You know when you’ve written something that matters. Not all stories that matter will be publishable, but in the end “publishable” is someone else’s lookout.


Working Title: Mr. Half-Caf
1st Sentence: You know the rule never to date where you work?
Favorite Sentence: And you know well that you should never eat popcorn around someone who doesn’t already love you, because there’s something about popcorn, you’ve never been able to eat it neatly, you are compelled to grab great fistfuls of it and cram it into your mouth and chomp it like a horse, your hands already digging around the bucket for more before you’re even close to swallowing.
Word Length: 914


Breaking New Grounds is a lovely coffee and tea shop at the end of Perkins Cove in Ogunquit, Maine. I took this picture of their logo inside the shop in July 2012.

Day 2 of Photo Series

15 Aug

Well, here’s what I can say so far about this experiment with photo prompts: Both yesterday and today I did come up with a shorty pretty quickly and I wrote each with relative speed and ease. They are both odd, and I like that. But both lack… depth and feeling. Of course it’s not like I never have that problem otherwise. And maybe the photo series shorties will get better. On to the next!


Working Title: Coffee Break
1st Sentence: Diane pulled her purse out of the lower desk drawer as she watched the digital clock rewrite the time from 9:59 to 10:00.
Favorite Sentence: The day Diane McCluskey doesn’t march out of the office at exactly 10:00 AM to fetch a café au lait is the day long-dormant volcanoes erupt, continents split, the heavens rain bullfrogs.
Word Length: 872


Photo taken outside a restaurant in Perkins Cove, Ogunquit, Maine, July 2012.

Trying Something New

14 Aug

In the last few weeks I’ve been finding ways to defeat an increasing sense of mental fatigue. More on some of the tricks I’ve developed another time, but here’s my latest: I’ve brainstormed a list of types of prompts I can use to inspire shorties. On a given week I will use a particular kind of prompt every day. I fear that my mind will not love this kind of constraint and the overall quality of the shorties will suffer. But for now I want to see if using prompts reduces at least one kind of mental work by relieving me of the burden of creating  a story idea out of nothing and everything. My Daily Shorty weeks start on Tuesday so today I began a week-long story series using 7 selected photos from my recent trip to Ogunquit, Maine.


Working Title: Foot Eulogy
1st Sentence: Science can have everything but my foot.
Favorite Sentence: That’s not a problem with a flip-flop but since when would I (literally) be caught dead in a flappy, flat, half-assed parody of a shoe?
Word Length: 943


Thanks to my friend Cynthia, who let me take (and now post) this picture of her foot.

An easy one to finish Week 15!

13 Aug

I keep wondering when I’m going to run out of easy days. More, please. For now, you’re welcome to one of these amazing macaroons. I’ll have the other as a reward for completing Week 15. Mmmm. I love coconut.


Working Title: Going Silent
1st Sentence: The papers called it a tragedy.
Favorite Sentence: Then came more serious training, bigger discovery, a world tour she remembered mostly as a series of blurred costume changes and naps on planes, all exploding into a life lived entirely on an open stage with a hot mic.
Word Length: 766


Photo by David Jackmanson, December 2009.

Reclaimed Material

12 Aug

I have to do more of this. Went looking on my hard drive for lost bits and pieces and found a nugget I wrote a year ago using an exercise provided by the fabulous Sue William Silverman in her talk at VCFA’s terrific postgraduate writers’ conference. An hour later, a shorty. And I like it!


Working Title: Weed Slayer
1st Sentence: My mother was curled into the battered armchair, reading and chewing on a thumb.
Favorite Sentence: The tender leaves were the size of silver dollars and shaped liked ragged-edged hearts.
Word Length: 708


Photo by GTD Aquitaine, May 2008.

Airport Writing

11 Aug

Worked on this one a few times during the day, then saved the heavy hitting for late, when I knew I’d be sitting in an airport for a few hours, waiting for the husband’s always delayed plane. Might as well make being stuck in limbo work for me, right? A disappointing shorty, as it happens, but an efficient Claire. Next!


Working Title: Breast Duty
1st Sentence: “You don’t need to tell me what to do.”
Favorite Sentence: She draped the thing around her shoulders, snapped it at the top, and sat there like a depressed superhero with a very bad costume designer.
Word Length: 1,042


Photo by National Cancer Institute.

For My Friend Jen Hicks

10 Aug

Jen: You said, “creamed corn, creamed corn, creamed corn.” I listened. Re the shorty, this a perfect example of a story I can’t imagine having written before this story-a-day experiment. Very little happens, it’s kind of sentimental, and it has a pleasant little ending. So… elaborate, snarky, slightly foul-mouthed Hallmark greeting card? Or small, worthy story about a quiet moment between a (snarky, slightly foul-mouthed) couple with a defiantly positive ending in a world clogged with disillusion? Probably the former. Either way, another day marked off and on to the next.


Working Title: The Little Things
1st Sentence: We’re waiting for the movie to start, grazing on popcorn and clutching our sodas, big-eyed and doped on salt and grease and corn syrup, staring at the trivia bullshit on the screen.
Favorite Sentence: They don’t even have the decency to put up enough material to last, say, fifteen minutes, so every time I come here I end up auto-reading, oh, twenty-seven times, the delightful fact that Mr. Action Man’s favorite food is creamed corn, or Ms. Has-Been Maybelline Ad was a cheerleader in high school (her pom poms, I read somewhere, were smaller then).
Word Length: 817


Photo by Stu Spivack.